11 Vegan Jokes You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Oh great, another round of ‘How do you know if someone’s vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.'” But hold your horses (or should I say, hold your carrots?), because these jokes are fresher than the lettuce you forgot about in your fridge!

We’ve cultivated a fresh crop of vegan-themed humor, organically grown and free from any animal products or tired clichés. Whether you’re a longtime vegan, a curious omnivore, or somewhere in between, these jokes are designed to tickle your funny bone without relying on the same old punchlines.

Get ready to laugh your plants off with these irresistible, cruelty-free quips.

  1. You ever meet a vegan at a barbecue? It’s like meeting a vampire at a garlic festival. Why are you here?
  2. You know what’s cool about tofu? It doesn’t judge you. It just sits there, absorbing the vibe of whatever it’s near.
  3. You ever meet a vegan who’s angry? Of course, you have—they’re all hungry!
  4. You ever notice how vegans always seem so calm? That’s because they’re too weak to be angry.
  5. My wife wanted us to try vegan ice cream. Vegan ice cream! It’s like eating a cold lie.
  6. You ever notice how vegans have to tell you they’re vegan within five seconds? Unlike their veggie burgers, it’s like they’ve got an expiration date.
  7. You ever notice how vegans act like they’re better than you? Like, “I don’t eat meat.” Well, I don’t eat broccoli, but I don’t go around bragging about it.
  8. Vegans don’t eat anything that comes from animals. It’s a very clean diet, and I respect that. But I miss the emotional support of cheese.
  9. I tried vegan cheese. It’s like someone took all the joy out of cheese and left you with an existential crisis.
  10. Being vegan is like being in a Kafka novel—you’re always questioning the reality of what’s on your plate.
  11. You ever try to cook vegan? It’s like putting together IKEA furniture—there are way too many steps, and the end result is never quite what you expected.
James
Author: James

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